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The Woof Factor/Transcript
Dylan: *yawn* *yaawwn* Dallas: "Dylan, where are my probiotic beauty kibbles?" Destiny: "Dolly, I want a paw massage!" Deja Vu: "My paddy pads are uber chased!" Dolly & Dylan yawn and stretch. Dolly: "Sorry, Triple D." Dylan: "Yeah. Do we really look like butlers? Dallas: "But we work hard!" Destiny: "We need pampering!" Deja Vu: "What they said." Dylan: "Oh, please. You're actors. Mom and Dad work hard." Dolly: "We take care of everyone. Huh. All you do is be 'cute for the camera.' How hard is that?" Dallas: "Harder than you think." Destiny: "And FYI, 'cute' keeps the roof over our heads!" Deja Vu: "Like yeah." The screen from above shows the malfunction of Dawkins' "indoor rocket elevator." Dylan and Dolly now have to work with or perhaps even for Triple D to get their roof back. Dawkins: "I still think an indoor rocket elevator could work." Dylan: "*sigh* I guess we do need their cash to fix the roof." Dolly: "So what are you shooting today?" Dallas: "Woof." Destiny: "Jump jet pizza." Dallas: "In step of a mailing man." Deja Vu: "Oh no...." Destiny & Dallas: "We're double-booked!" Deja Vu: "What now?" Destiny: "It's tough being this wonder-fab in one place." Dallas: "But two? At the same time!?" Deja Vu: "So that's what double-booked means!" Dolly: "*sigh* How are you gonna do both?" Dylan: "They have to. Think of the roof. Nature's already started to take over!" Autumn leaves fall in the Dalmatian house. Sid wonders around storing acorn stashes under one of the pup's ears. Sid: "I am so prepared for winter." Dolly: "I know! We'll act in your place! I mean, how hard can it be?" Dallas: "*scoff* I'd like..." Destiny: "...To see..." Deja Vu: "...You try!" Dylan: "We don't have a choice. But first, we need a triplet." Dimitri 1: "I'd Love-" Dimitri 2: "to-" Dimitri 3: "But-" DJ: "I'm busking in Covert Garden." Da Vinci: "Doing street art across town." Dante: "Contemplating the end of the world!" Deepak: "Meowww wowwww wowww... I'm scheduled to find my inner cat with Guru Meow. Also, stare at my belly button." Dolly: "You're coming with us, pal!" Deepak: Hnnnnngghh! The limo arrives. Dallas: Okay. You do woof, we'll do jump jet pizza. Dylan: How come you get the jet? Destiny: Do you have altitude training? Deja Vu: Plus, we don't like barf on take-off. Dallas: Besides, any old dog could nail woof. Dolly: *laughs at Dallas* Dylan: Rrrrrrgh! Deepak: -gulp- *whimpering* Dolly, Dylan, and Deepak arrive at the Camden town advertising agency. Dylan: "*worried sigh* What if we get caught pretending to be Triple D?" Dolly: "Uhhhh, all dogs look the same to humans." Deepak: "Yeeeee.... Bow wowww wowww...." Advertising worker: "Fan test. Fan a-okay." Manager women: "Hey. Heyheyhey. Hi. Hi! Ohh, how's my cutchie-wootchie puppy wuppies?" Dylan: "Do these cameras feature smart image installation? What's the pixel aspect?... Ruff. Ruff. Ruffruffrufruff. Ruffrufrufruff." Director man: "*chuckles* Who's a clever boy?" Dylan: "Ohhhohoho... Finally, some recognition!" Dolly: "Hmm." Manager women: "Open, please. The fans just can't get enough of your smoochie-woochies." Dolly: "Finally, some appreciation!" Deepak: "*practices breathing* Finally, organic ethically sauced raw food kibble!" Dolly: "Ahehh yeah. This is such hard work." Dylan: "*relaxed sigh*" Dylan, Dolly, and Deepak are posing for the camera which features the image installation of a tropical waterfall. A perfume bottle is dug in the center of the cliff between the waterfalls. Dylan looks down and is startled to see the intimidating height. Dylan: "Aaa!" Dolly: "*giggles* Wow, someone's fresh from the groomers!" The screen pans to a handsome man dressed as a Greek hero. He is constantly posing, vainly taking selfies. Manager woman: "Okay, girls. So the ad's called Superman Supersoft. He rescues puppies. That's youuu! Stay. Sit. Good snuggly-wugglies!" Dylan: "So we just stand here and wait for a hairless human to rescue us? I think I can handle that." Audience: "Woohoo yayyyy! Destiny! (chanting) Triple D! Triple D! Triple D!" Hunter is about to cross the line to photo the Dalmatians when a guard blocks him along with his ironically matching Doberman. Deepak: "Ahhhh as I breathe in love in light, I caress my inner cat. Meow wowww woww wowww...." Dylan: "Ahhh no chores? This is heaven!" Manager woman: "Yeah, copy. All cutie-wuties to makeup!" The beautician slaps a pink bow onto Dylan. She slaps pink diamonds onto his ear. Dylan: "Ah hey! Woah! These bows are tight." The beautician slaps a button earring into Deepak's ear and a big bow. Deepak: "These earrings are chafing my chiefs." Dolly: "Ahahh! Come on bros, it's not that bad." The beautician grabs Dolly by the cheeks to examine her mouth. Beautician: "Those teeth, what have you been eating?" Dolly: "Heyyy, chew toys don't chow down themselves, you know! ArfrrrrArfrrrArfrrrRRrrr...." Deepak: "Ahh! *heavy breathing* Okay, Deepak. Feel your paws on the earth, the drool upon your tongue, and-" The beautician slaps a fake, wide, gummy smile onto him. Deepak: "I am not as happy about this as I appear." Meanwhile, the Triple D are in the other agency room, making their commercial about a jet pizza related to them. The image installation is the three in a matching pink jump jet. The jet has a pizza logo that has its toppings shaped in a heart for Dallas, a diamond for Destiny, and a circle for Deja. Director woman: "Alright, triplets. Camera's ready. Stand by to save the day delivering a tasty jump jet pizza.... And action!" Dallas: "Jump jet pizza delivery team?" Destiny: "To the rescue!" Deja Vu: "Pet's pizza!" Destiny: "Happy pizza..." Dallas: "...Happy you!" Deja Vu: "...With puppy pizzazz!" Triple D: "Arf, arf! (variously) Arf arf arro arf ruff ruff rah!" The beautician is polishing the Greek hero as he is consistently taking selfies of himself in the other station. Director man: "Cue the wind." Dylan: "Remember, stop on the X!" Director man: "And action." Dolly: "Aheh look at me! I'm a blow fish! Laglalalalalah...." Director man: "Cut." Dolly: "Not a blow fish man, huh?" A worker is driving in a cart, which tugs at Dolly's wild instincts. She goes crazy and immediately starts chasing the car hysterically. Dolly: "*gasp* Hoogahoogahoogaarffrrarfrrr!... *crazy sounds*" Director man: "Huh? What? Get back here!" Dylan: "Come back, sis! Ohhh, this is not helping our roof prop right now!" Dylan too however gets the same urge to chase the cart uncontrollably. Now in line with his sister. Dylan: "Arf! Arrarr! Arrarfarfarf!" Director man: Where is she going? Manager women: We're on it. Come back here, naughty girls! The chaos and lack of overall control in the agency causes Deepak to break down and panic. He is all alone on top of the intimidating cliff prop, feeling scared and helpless. Deepak: "Happy place... Unicorns! Rainbows! Meow wowww wowww wowww!..... (breaking down; panicked howling) MEOWWWUWWWWW!" Director man: "CUT!" They try again. But this time, Deepak's ears get in his face from the activated fan. He loses sight and almost falls off the cliff prop. Luckily, Dylan saves him in time by the tail. Deepak: "Uaaaahh!" Dylan: "Woah!" Director man: Cuuuuuut! On the third try, Dolly gets easily distracted by her blowing tail in the wind. She gets into a small, silly fit of chasing her tail. Director man: (quickly) Cut! Dylan and Dolly arrive in time on the x's. Deepak is behind due to scooting his butt on top of the cliff prop. Director man: (annoyed) Cuuut! (sullenly) Cut... On the fourth try, Dylan senses an itch and gives his ear a good scratch, relieved. Dylan: Ohhh!... The camera shatters and breaks down because of Deepak pissing on it. Director man: Oh, cut. Cut! Cuuuttt! Rrrrrgh! Makeup! Dolly: Aheh, hey. That tickles! Deepak: Ugh. External beauty is only like, fur-deep. Dolly: Ugh. How does Triple D put up with this? Dolly, Dylan, and Deepak are all barking their complaints to the beauticians. Beautician: What happened? These dogs used to be such pros! Director man: Never work with children or animals. *sigh* And action. Dolly, Dylan, and Deepak: *breathe deeply, but miffed* They do their finest posing between the waterfalls and land right on the x's. Director man: (happily) And, cut! Finally. Dylan: Yes!... Dolly: Yes!... Deepak: Phew!... Director man: "Now let's do it 37 more times from every possible angle." Dylan: What!? Dolly: No way! Deepak: "Make it STOP!" Dallas: "Happy..." Destiny: "...Puppy..." Deja Vu: "...Pizza!" Triple D: "Arf arff arrro!" Director woman: And that's a wrap! Dallas: Nailed it! Destiny: Like always! Deja Vu: Wonder how the B team are making out with woof. Triple D: *giggling about their performance* Dylan, Dolly, and Deepak pretend to look fatigued, pitiful, and in need for the acting in the advertisement. The Greek hero has a worried yet determined look on his face as he looks at the doggos. The scene goes dramatic as he climbs the stubs of the cliff with his mighty hands. Greek hero: Hmm! The three dalmatians pull their puppy eyes, pretending to hope desperately that the Greek hero will come and save them. Greek hero: Hmm! His hand slips and he is about to fall a ways away. Greek hero: Wuuuuhhhwoaaahhh! He catches himself next to a random perfume bottle and sprays it on himself. The perfume bottle is too from the Triple D. Greek hero: Mmmm.... Huah! Huahhhh.... However, the advertisement is just about to malfunction as the perfume irritates Dylan's nose. Dylan sneezes it onto the Greek hero. Dylan: That woof is making me.... *sniffles* Achoo! The perfume bottle flings into the air and shatters against the angled fan. The fan breaks and the perfume blinds the place. Director man: "(sobbing) Cuuuuuhuhuhuhuuuttt!" The fan lowers down from the position and flies everywhere like a giant drone. The three dalmatians dodge the flying fan. The fan knocks down all of the cameras. He clings onto a camera on wheels. Dolly runs from here to there. The beautician gets flung onto the drone-fan machine. Chaos is everywhere. After the destruction, the director just sits there, speechless. Dylan: Ahh! The camera! Dolly runs from here to there. The beautician gets flung onto the drone-fan machine. Chaos is everywhere. After the destruction, the director just sits there, speechless. Dylan: "Sir; please, please give us another chance. Our roof depends on it! (whimpering) Awrrrr.... Awrrrr... Awrrrr!...." The fly-drone is still in action. It slices off the Greek hero's cape. The Greek hero truly falls to the ground. Greek hero: "Wuahhhhhhh!" Fortunately, Triple D have took wind of the chaos and are here to save the day. The strings from the zip line lower them as they grab onto his cape. They lift him up to the position for the advertisement, Superman Supersoft. Director man: "And cut! Smelling an award, people! I'm a genius." Dylan, Dolly, and Deepak stand up, ears crumpled and themselves winded. Dallas winks at them. Dylan: "Woahhh... Huh. Well I guess you could say they've got the woof factor." Dolly: "Oh, barf." Dolly & Dylan: "Bow wow wow wow wowww...." Deepak: "Meow wow wow wow wowww..." Dallas: "Huh. We should let you guys..." Destiny: "...Almost ruin our careers more often." Deja Vu: "A little to the left, Deepak?" Deepak: "*breathes heavy* I can still see the light." Dolly: "Not for long!" The roof is finally back to normal and closes. Dylan: "Okay, that's it. We're done." Dolly: "No more milking it!" Deepak: Meow wow wow wowwww! Triple D: "Whah? Whaaaah? Hey, come back here!" Category:Transcript